you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
You were trust falling into bushes
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
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