So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
