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i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
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