you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Randomize
