Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(386): View more from Florida

her nipple to breast ratio was just odd

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(858): View more from California

This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..

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(859): View more from Kentucky

He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(978): View more from Massachusetts

Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...

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(281): View more from Texas

I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.

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(704): View more from North Carolina

By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance

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(937): View more from Ohio

Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.

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