Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
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And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
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legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"