A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.