he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
