you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
