My friends, they love my intelligence
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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