New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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