Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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