I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
