Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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