he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
