Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize