why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
