i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
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