i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
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