Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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