do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
