shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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