Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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