Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
