I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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