I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Randomize
