Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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