kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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