Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
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