I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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