dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
