If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
