I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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