Having a random hookup so left but love u
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Randomize
