He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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