your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
