Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize