You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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