all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
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