some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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