dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
What a dumb baby whore.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
