Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
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