I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
