after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I need a hoe opinion
go on
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
