Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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