God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
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You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
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Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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