You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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