you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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