just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
