I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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