the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
