it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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