I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize