'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Randomize
