stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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