her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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