His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
