He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
