I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Rumble strips road head = magical
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
