i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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