he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
