A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Randomize
