dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
You ate ashes out of my bong
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