but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
