Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
We need to get me chipped asap
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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